God Smooths Out Our Jagged Edges

November 10, 2015 / sheridursin / 5 Comments

smooth stone

Have you ever taken a close look at a river rock? These flat rocks, found in riverbeds and on beaches, are unique in size, shape, and color but with one similarity. They are smooth. No jagged edges, sharp corners, or pointy bumps.

What makes these rocks so smooth?

Water flowing in a river is constantly moving. A powerful force that carries along dirt, sediment, and smaller stones in its path. These rough items bump up against the river rocks, acting like sandpaper. They break off the pointy bumps, round out the sharp corners, and smooth the jagged edges. This is a natural process, called weathering or erosion, and occurs over a long period of time. The end result is a smooth and shiny stone, beautiful in its purity.

Can we compare this process to our own lives?

At times… are you the jagged rock? Uneven and rough. Covered in sharp edges that cause pain in your own life or the lives of those around you. Each rough spot representing a heavy burden, a sharp tongue, a harsh response, a jealous thought, or a past pain. Without realizing it, you become something that causes others to wince upon contact. Something that cannot hold or be held.

And how often do you feel like that rock being tumbled around in a swirling river? Bumped and tossed. Crashing into those around you—or being crashed—with a force you feel you can’t control. It can make you feel helpless… or even hopeless. There’s no gaining your footing in such a riotous atmosphere.

I encourage you to look at this in another way. The pain is real, but the process is powerful and profound. The driving force is the water and it’s no random occurrence. The water represents the Divine Source that is constantly washing over your jagged soul, breaking off those burdens and pains. Carrying them away. Smoothing them out.

We believe in a loving God that shapes us in this way. We are first introduced to this Living Water at our Baptism. An outward sign of an inward grace. A never ending flow of mercy, love, compassion, and forgiveness. The process isn’t always easy. Weathering can be painful! Life tosses us around whether we like it or not. God uses these “tossed” experiences to shape us. God uses our trials to smooth us out until we are transformed. “See, I am doing a new thing!” (Isaiah 43:19)

Does this sound good to you? Are you asking: How can I get in on this deal? It’s simple. All you have to do is let it happen. God is always working in you, whether you realize it or not. Let the healing water of God’s love rush past you and surround you, making you smooth, shiny, and new. If you’d like to become more tuned in to the ways in which God is working in you… try prayer, Reconciliation, meditation, or reading and reflecting on the Word of God. You’ll find yourself gaining in awareness of God’s constant and overflowing presence in your life.

Take a look at the stone in the picture above. As you gaze at the surface, use God’s eyes to search for your shining reflection. What do you see? Do you see the grace-filled moments of your life reflected back at you? Can you see the unfolding of your purpose? Can you see God’s promise and His deep love for you?

May God bless our journey and continue to polish us into shining reflections of His love.

A Prayer for Today

October 24, 2015 / sheridursin / 4 Comments

Dear God, I thank you for making me wonderfully unique. You knit together my talents, my flaws, my moods, and my dreams. At the moment of my creation you were there, loving me beyond measure. You know what it is that I need for this day and for this season. You provide me with abundant blessings and gifts to meet each challenge with love and patience.

On the days when I can’t seem to get anything right…You are there, holding me gently.

On the days when I can’t stop comparing myself to those who are smarter, better, thinner, or just MORE… You are there, reminding me that I am your Beloved Daughter.

On the days when stress, fear, doubt, and worry threaten to stop me in my tracks… You are there, gently nudging me forward.

On the days when words don’t seem adequate to thank you, to praise you, to glorify Your name… You are there, understanding the prayers that spill from my heart.

Dear Lord, help me to listen to what it is that you ask of me today and in this season. Let me live and act with compassion and kindness. Help me to love boldly. Guide me in following the example of your Son, Jesus Christ, in all that I do and say.

AMEN.

Finding God in the Construction Zone

October 21, 2015 / sheridursin / 9 Comments

For the past few months, I’ve had to pass through a major construction zone on my way to work in the morning. The road is being torn up, sidewalks are temporarily gone, and the two lane road is funneled down to one. It’s a huge hassle that has the potential to start my day with stress and irritation.

Each morning, as my car is inching its way past this road work, I see a woman bravely walking through the mess. Wearing a bright pink track suit and a big smile, she weaves her way past bulldozers, police cars, traffic cones, and broken chunks of asphalt. I can see that this morning walk is part of her daily routine, and she’s not going to let a little construction stop her. I admire her. If it were me, I would immediately use this as an excuse to stop walking for the 8-10 months it might take to finish the road!

Does your life ever resemble a chaotic “construction zone”—filled with mess and upheaval? What happens to your faith life during this time? Do you find it difficult to pray, to find quiet time to be alone with God? Or maybe you’re so focused on the problem at hand that you forget about God’s presence in your life.

Last year I was scheduled to go on a weekend retreat with some women from my parish. Some unexpected things came up at home and I felt I couldn’t “afford” the time away. At the last minute I cancelled my reservation in order to stay home and take care of things. In doing this, I was failing to take care of myself. It resulted in my feeling more stressed and overwhelmed. I often wonder if I had gone on the retreat, would my approach to solving those problems been clearer and more effective?

Unlike the determined woman I see each morning, I think I would be quick to put off my morning walks until the construction was finished. How often do we set aside our faith until a time when conditions are more ideal for prayer and communion with God? Once things have calmed down in my life, I’ll get back to praying. Right now I just have to get through this.

What a silly, backward approach to life! It is precisely our faith that will sustain us through those “under construction” times. A few minutes of quiet prayer can make all the difference. Inching your way through the chaos with Jesus by your side can make the journey less burdensome and arduous.

God is here for us, waiting to guide us safely through to the other side. We only need to lean on Him.

I think of Jesus, facing the sick, hungry, and needy…believers numbering in the thousands. He would often slip away from the crowds, to retreat into the wilderness to pray. “But now more than ever the word about Jesus spread abroad; many crowds would gather to hear him and to be cured of their diseases. But he would withdraw to deserted places and pray.” (Luke 5:15-16)

Jesus knew that he needed time to be alone with God. I imagine he would come back from those moments of stolen prayer refreshed, with a renewed sense of purpose, confident that he walked this journey with his Father. It was vital to the continuation of his ministry. We can and should follow his example. Keep on walking. Bring Jesus with you. Let God guide you.

Eventually they’re going to finish repairing the road I travel to work each day. I look forward to seeing this woman walking on a smoother path. It gives me hope that she persevered through the muddle and will now have an easier road to travel.

It gives me courage to keep on walking.

God Picks Us Up When We Fall

October 3, 2015 / sheridursin / 8 Comments

For three years my office window looked out over a church parking lot. People used it for all kinds of things. A practice course for school bus drivers in training, a path for neighborhood walkers, an unofficial commuter lot, a place for truckers to park and eat lunch. But my favorite thing to see was parents using the parking lot to teach their children how to ride a bike. What a sweet distraction from my day’s work. I could see the fearful looks on the faces of the young riders. I could hear the parents’ promises floating up through my office window.

“I won’t let you fall!”
“I promise you won’t get hurt.”

I remember my husband and I saying these exact words to our boys when they first learned to ride, and I’m very sure my dad made the same promises to me. It’s what you have to say to get past the fear in your child so they can take that leap.

If we’re being honest… these promises are not exactly iron-clad. It’s likely our would-be cyclists WILL fall. There’s a chance they COULD get hurt. Not too badly, you hope, but anything could happen. What you might more honestly say is this:

“If you fall, I’ll be there to pick you up.”
“If you get hurt, I’ll be there to soothe your pain and dry your tears.”
“I will ALWAYS be there, no matter what.”

For me, there’s no better way to describe God’s role in our lives. But it took me some time to come to that realization. I used to pray exactly like those scared kids teetering on a bike for the first time. “Please, dear God, don’t let anything bad happen to me… EVER!” I was so afraid of getting hurt that I held myself back from new experiences and new challenges.

Life has taught me that it doesn’t work that way. We all fall. We all get hurt. It’s part of engaging in the world around us. Living up to our potential involves a certain amount of risk. This knowledge could easily leave us paralyzed with fear. Afraid to lift our feet from their firmly-rooted spots on the ground and peddle like mad.

But the beauty of our faith is that God is ALWAYS there for us. To offer comfort. To dry our tears. To ease our pain. To pick us up no matter how many times we fall.

This knowledge is what frees us to get on that bike and go. To fly. To take a leap of faith. To push ourselves toward our sacred destiny. It’s what God wants for us.

One beautiful spring day my son took his brand new bike out for a ride. A run-in with a nasty pothole landed him in the emergency room with a broken wrist, a mild concussion, and many cuts and scrapes. I smothered him with love for weeks after that, giving him all the comfort and gentleness a mother could give (which is a LOT!) His wrist healed, his bruises faded, and his headaches went away. His worst fears (and mine) about getting hurt had been realized…and overcome. And so, too, we heal from the potholes and pitfalls of life. And we do so with the strength of an amazing God who will never let us fall so far or so deep that we can’t get up again… and keep on riding.

Living Water

July 30, 2015 / sheridursin / 8 Comments

Have you ever watched a small child try to build a castle out of dry sand? She painstakingly fills her pail with scoop after scoop of powdery white sand. With all her might, she lifts the heavy pail and quickly dumps it over. You cringe a bit, knowing what’s about to happen. With hope in her eyes, she lifts up the pail to reveal her creation. Tears of frustration flow as the sand collapses around her and the castle is leveled to the ground.

She doesn’t understand what went wrong. You know the secret and you want to rush over and tell her. She needs to add water! Wet sand is sturdy and strong. It will hold her castle together so it can stand tall. Without water, she’ll never succeed.

The dry sand in this story depicts a life lived apart from God. Dry, dusty, with no strong surface to gain a foothold through the trials of life. This kind of barren life is one we fall into because we choose to distance ourselves from God. It’s not something God “does” to us or wants for us. In fact, quite the opposite. In Isaiah 44:3, God promises: “For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour my spirit upon your descendants, and my blessing on your offspring.” Jesus repeats this promise to the worshipers in the temple in John 7:37-38: “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me, and let the one who believes in me drink. As the scripture has said, ‘Out of the believer’s heart shall flow rivers of living water.’”

If we’re thirsty, it’s not because of an absence of water, it’s because we choose not to drink. Or maybe someone needs to help us find the water source.

Jesus describes the gift of the Holy Spirit as water because of its life giving properties. It sustains us, nourishes us, helps us to grow. It washes us clean and makes us new. God provided a limitless ocean for this little girl who longed to build a sturdy sand castle. It was right there for the taking. In the same way, all we need to do is receive the incredible gift of God’s grace.

The next time you feel like things are collapsing in around you, remember the strength that can be found in the “Living Water” of the Holy Spirit. It is the secret to a life filled with deep meaning and abundant blessings.

And it’s right there for the taking.

My Summer Goal… To Just Be

June 17, 2015June 17, 2015 / sheridursin / 10 Comments

With summer vacation about to begin, bringing a sense of endless promise and boundless time, my husband and I have been talking a lot about goals. “What do you want to accomplish this summer?” I asked him. “What are your top three goals for the summer?” he countered. We’re even imposing these goals on our boys. What activities should they pursue this summer? How will that help them achieve long-term success? What is one major personal goal they can accomplish before school starts up again in the fall?

Goals are good and important and can lead to certain kinds of growth. But this constant focus on “doing” has its pitfalls. We live in a world that places an enormous amount of emphasis on accomplishments and achievements. We present ourselves to the world as living resumes, saying: “This is what I do” as opposed to “This is who I am.” Our lives need to be efficient and productive at all times. We devote ourselves to the gods of progress and success. This approach to life can easily backfire and end up blocking true and meaningful growth. We miss out on opportunities to build relationships, to grow in our closeness with God, to experience the sacred in the everyday moment.

In a world filled with the demands of so much DOING, perhaps summer, with its warm, gentle breezes and long, hazy days of sunshine, should be a time for just BEING.

BEING wise enough to know when we need to rest and restore ourselves. This is not a luxury or a guilty pleasure but a vital necessity! It’s not laziness, but a time of being spiritually alive and tuned in to the ways in which God is moving in our lives.
BEING open to an intimate and deepening relationship with our Creator. A constant pursuit of doing makes it difficult to hear God and respond to His stirrings in our souls.
BEING available to experience the sacred in the most ordinary present moment. Pay attention to what we might be missing. The thing that will have the most impact on us today, is most likely not on our daily “to do” lists.
BEING aware of friendships or relationships that need nurturing. Practice the art of doing “nothing” with our spouses, kids, or friends. Take time for idle conversation and see what’s revealed in the process. Talk, but more importantly, listen.
BEING able to sit in the silence and let ourselves be filled up by the presence of God.
BEING humble enough to realize that God’s plans for us are so much more important than our own personal goals for success.
BEING creative in our approach to spirituality as we strive to deepen our relationship with God. Try something new this summer. Attend a spiritual retreat or workshop. Keep a journal of thoughts on “being.” Discover a new way of praying.

Let’s put our resumes of accomplishment away for a few months. Or better yet, let’s rewrite them altogether. What we “do” should be an outpouring of who we “are” and who God wants us to be. Who we are is the essence of our souls and the foundation of our lives. Don’t we deserve time to nurture and cultivate that part of ourselves? It shouldn’t be pushed to the back burner to be replaced by lists of things we want to do and accomplish. Our connection to the Divine should dictate our “to do” list.

Spend your summer BEING a child of God.

Unanswered Prayers

May 25, 2015 / sheridursin / 13 Comments

Please, dear God, don’t let him make any mistakes.

This was my hastily whispered prayer three years ago when my eleven-year-old son sat down at the piano to perform in the spring recital. He was playing a difficult piece – one that he had been working on for months. I knew he was nervous. I held my breath as he began to play.

Despite my plea to God, there were several noticeable mistakes in his performance, including one heart-stopping moment where he seemed to lose his place in the music before picking it back up again. My heart fell. My son is a deeply sensitive boy and a perfectionist. I knew he would be devastated by these mistakes. And he was. No matter how many times my husband and I told him he did a great job and we were so proud of him, he would not hear it. With choked back sobs and tears of frustration, he could not get past it.

He wasn’t the only one who was frustrated. I had a bone to pick with God. “Come on!! It was a simple request! You can move mountains and part seas! Was it really so impossible to help a boy get through one piano piece?!?” I felt rejected and a little bit betrayed. I couldn’t understand why God refused to say “yes” to this simple prayer.

Fast forward two years. We were back at the same music studio for another piano concert. My son had chosen an even more challenging piece to perform. He knew it by heart and he was ready. Before he began to play, his teacher got up to say the following words about my son: “When he chose this piece to learn, as his teacher my first instinct was to talk him out of it, because I thought it would be too difficult for him. But he was determined and he worked hard. And he taught me a valuable lesson. Never again will I tell a student what they can’t do.”

The lights dimmed as my son began to play. He did a beautiful job…his fingers flying over the keys as the melody filled the room and my heart. His performance wasn’t perfect. There were some wrong notes and another prolonged pause as he tried to find his place again. I sighed deeply. So close! I guess we’re in for another rough afternoon.

When the recital was over I rushed over to my son to give him a hug. He hugged me back, smiled, and shrugged his shoulders. “Did you notice I lost my place for a few seconds there?” To my surprise, he wasn’t upset. He was ok with it. What a difference from the wrecked little boy of two years ago! My mind jumped back to that moment when I believed that God had denied my prayer. With sudden clarity, I realized how wrong I was. This was God’s answer. This year, this moment, this beautiful evidence of growth in my son. God had been holding him and shaping him and working in him all this time.

I understood. God didn’t say “yes” to my prayer that day. But he didn’t say “no” either. Instead, his answer was “grow.” A lesson in faith to be learned not just by my child, but by me.

God is always loving us and working in our lives, even if we can’t always see it in obvious ways. Think back to the “unanswered” prayers in your own life. Was God really saying no? Or was there a greater plan He had in mind for you?

Jesus’ Last Lecture

March 29, 2015 / sheridursin / 14 Comments

A college professor is invited to give a hypothetical “last lecture” in which they answer the question: “If this is the last lecture you would ever give to your students, what would you say?” The professor is challenged with the task of packing in decades of wisdom and life lessons into one hour. In 2007, Randy Pausch, a professor of Computer Science at Carnegie Mellon University was invited to do just that. What was uniquely moving about this lecture, was that Pausch was dying of pancreatic cancer. His talk, entitled “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams” was delivered to a packed house of over 400 colleagues and students. This lecture became the basis for the New York Times best-selling book, The Last Lecture, co-authored by Pausch and published in 2008. It became his legacy to his children before he died in that same year.

As we move into Holy Week, I invite you to spend some time reading Jesus’ “Last Lecture.” (John 13-17) It was the day before Passover and Jesus, knowing that the hour had come for him to leave this world, gathered his disciples one last time. He washed their feet, in a beautiful example of how they were to minister to one another after he was gone.

And then he began to speak.

“Dear children, how brief are these moments before I must go away and leave you!” (John 13:33) I imagine the sense of urgency Jesus must have felt as he tried one last time to impart everything he wanted his disciples to learn before he would leave them.

For four and a half chapters of John’s Gospel—often referred to as the “Last Supper Discourse” or the “Farewell Discourse” —Jesus gives his disciples instructions, life lessons, and final words of wisdom. There’s so much rich and wonderful content in his words, it could never be covered in one short blog post. (It reads like a “Greatest Hits” of Bible quotes!) So I’ve chosen 7 lines from Jesus’ Last Lecture—one for each day of Holy Week—for you to ponder and pray about

MONDAY

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35) This is it…really. The entirety of Jesus’ ministry and message summed up in one commandment. Love one another. During this holiest week of the year, how will we choose to love one another?

TUESDAY

“I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6) One of my favorite lines in all of Scripture! Jesus tells his disciples that he is going to prepare a place for them in his Father’s house. Thomas replies: “Lord, we do not know where you are going; so how can we know the way to get there?” The answer is simple and profound. Jesus is the WAY. Our guide and our bridge to God and the Promised Land. All we need to do is follow Him.

WEDNESDAY

“If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.” (John 14:15-17) In this passage we learn about the Holy Spirit. Jesus promises his disciples that they will never be left alone, a promise that still holds for us today. The Holy Spirit is an Advocate or Helper that dwells within us forever…to comfort, guide, and lead us.

THURSDAY

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27) Yet another beautiful gift from our Savior. Peace, not as the world gives—based on outward circumstances—but peace from within. Peace that is rooted in absolute trust in the faithfulness of God. A gift that becomes ours only in the act of receiving. How will we receive the peace of Christ this week?

FRIDAY

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5) In these beautiful words we see Jesus’ message of discipleship. We are meant to bear fruit…to spread the love of Christ like branches stretching out from a vine. But we must remain connected to the source of our creation. Our dependence on God allows us to become an instrument of His love and peace.

SATURDAY

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:12-13) After once again repeating his central commandment, Jesus foreshadows the great act of sacrifice that is to come on Good Friday. Jesus dying on the cross is an act of profound love. One that transforms the disciples to such a degree that they passionately preach his message, even to the point of their own death in martyrdom. How will we let Jesus transform us during this Easter season? How can we “die” to our own self-absorption in order to live renewed in Christ?

SUNDAY

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) The sorrow of the crucifixion and death of Jesus give way to the victory and triumph of Easter morning. We are a Resurrection People, born to new life in Christ. Alleluia, He is Risen!

In My Father’s Eyes

March 19, 2015 / sheridursin / 4 Comments

What are some motivations that you may need to confess?

This was the question posed by my writing prompt this morning. It immediately made me think of this past Thanksgiving. After starting a new health regime in September, I had lost a bit of weight. I was feeling pretty good about myself and bought a new outfit to wear for Thanksgiving dinner at my parents’ house. I played the scene out in my head. I would enter the house, take off my coat, and everyone would be amazed at how great I looked. I would be showered with compliments and admiration. It was going to be a great holiday.

Imagine my surprise when no one seemed to notice at all.

It was a humbling lesson in pride and vanity. If I had kept my focus on either the real meaning of Thanksgiving—being thankful for my loved ones and all our good fortune—or the true benefits of losing weight—improved long term health—I would have felt incredibly blessed that day instead of vaguely disappointed.

I won’t beat myself up about it. It’s perfectly human to want praise and compliments. I don’t believe it’s a sin to want people to think well of you. But it’s a slippery slope when it comes to motivation. In the wise words of Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation— “Don’t start chasing applause and acclaim. That way lies madness.”

When I first started giving spiritual retreats I was desperate for positive affirmation. Like Sally Field at the Oscar’s (“They like me! They really like me!”) I drank up praise like it was the most addictive drug on the market. I told myself it was affirmation from God I was searching for. If people keep telling me how good I am, then I know this is what God wants me to be doing.

I’m not sure how sound my reasoning was. The truth is, I just liked the feeling.

Again, it’s not the worst thing in the world to enjoy some praise, as long as I didn’t lose sight of the reasons I was doing this in the first place. My desire to please God by helping others had to trump my desire to please myself by helping others. Fine line of distinction but it feels important.

It’s a good idea once in a while to examine why we do the things we do. Are there motives that are preventing us from living in a real and authentic way? Is it more important for me to get a hundred “likes” on this post than to reach one person who really needs to hear God’s message, even if I never know about it? Social media leads us down this path to “madness” like nothing else. It’s all about the numbers. Followers…hits…page views…likes…friends. Everyone wants to be “famous” or “popular” in whatever platform they can. For the most part, this can be harmless fun (and I’m not suggesting that everyone uses social media in this way!) but chasing applause is a race we’ll never win, because we’ll always want more. If we measure our success by the numbers, we’ll always be left feeling dissatisfied.

What do you place at your center? Validation from outside forces? Or the love and adoration of the God who created you? “The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” (I Samuel 16:7b). I can think of no better audience that that, and God is always going to be our biggest fan. The One who knows us best. The One who sees us for who we are and still loves us.

In the words of songwriter Francesca Battistelli, “I don’t need my name in lights, I’m famous in my Father’s eyes.”

Psalm 23 – A Psalm for the Living

March 13, 2015March 29, 2015 / sheridursin / 5 Comments

God is our refuge and our hope.

This was the topic I found myself writing about when preparing for a retreat several years ago. In looking for some Scripture to use, I went straight for the Psalms which contain dozens and dozens of references to this kind of loving and protective God. I was immediately drawn to Psalm 23. You know this one:

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me…

After considering it for a moment, I quickly rejected it for the purposes of my talk. For most people, this Psalm is too closely associated with funerals, death, and dying. I can still remember the scene from the movie Titanic when a priest recites these lines to a group of terrified passengers as the ship sinks further and further into the ocean. As beautiful as it was, I wanted to talk about life… I didn’t need a Psalm for the dying. Continue reading →

Hearing God's Whisper

Reflections by Sheri Dursin

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