Lent

Ministry and the Measuring Stick

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As we get closer to Holy Week, we will soon hear the beautiful Scripture story of Jesus washing the feet of the disciples. Afterwards he says to them: “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” (John 13:14-15)

By His example, we are all called to minister to God’s kingdom. How are we to do that? Living up to the example of Jesus can sometimes feel overwhelming or intimidating. It’s easy to compare ourselves to others and feel that they are doing it “better.” Not wanting to fall short, we try and mimic the way that others minister, even when it doesn’t feel right for us—like trying on a pair of shoes that don’t quite fit.

The measuring stick we use to compare ourselves to others is a very common way of missing the point of what God may be calling us to do. We see the work of others and think: “I could never do that.” By focusing on that person, we are looking at only one way of answering the call of God, assigning holy characteristics to that person. Feeling like we can’t measure up, we give up entirely.

Let’s look at an example. Jesus instructs us to feed the hungry. At first glance, what does that look like? Perhaps you call to mind those incredibly generous people who spend hours every week working at soup kitchens, shopping and cooking for the needy, or running food drives and suppers for the homeless. Once again, the measuring stick comes out.

When this happens, I encourage you to do things:

Do Small Thing With Great Love

Keep in mind that this is not an “all or nothing” endeavor. Maybe you work full time or you have family obligations that prevent you from having lots of hours for volunteer work. Or you live on a budget and can just barely manage your own grocery bill. That’s ok. Find a smaller way to live out this call. Choose one or two items each week to give to the local food pantry. Or donate just a few dollars if that’s all you have to give. 

Keep in mind the words of Mother Teresa: “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” There may come a time when the circumstances in your life change, and you’re able to do and give more. If you’ve been faithful to Jesus’ call to feed the hungry in whatever way you can right now, it will be an easy thing to expand what you’re already doing.

Examine Your Gifts

Look for creative ways to live out the words of Jesus—ones that are in line with your God-given gifts. Let’s take our same example of feeding the hungry. Are there other ways you can do this?

  • Be on the lookout for someone who’s hungry for your time and attention.  If God gave you the gift of being a good listener, then this one’s for you!
  • Be on the lookout for someone who’s hungry for peace. If you’re gifted at helping people resolve conflict, then you are doing God’s work!
  • Be on the lookout for someone who’s hungry for an encouraging word. If you have a knack for making people feel good about themselves, then you are most certainly answering God’s call to minister to the Kingdom!

The important thing is to continuously look outward. When you seek out those who may be in need—not just for food, but in need of anything—you’ll discover how you may be particularly suited to help them in various ways.

There are different kinds of gifts. But they are all given to believers by the same Spirit. There are different ways to serve. But they all come from the same Lord. There are different ways the Spirit works. But the same God is working in all these ways and in all people. The Holy Spirit is given to each of us in a special way. That is for the good of all.
 (1 Corinthians 12: 4-7)

If you open up to the many different ways we can all minister to God’s kingdom, you’ll find yourself putting away the measuring stick, and truly following the example of Jesus in exactly the way you were meant to.

Photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash

Let God Take Care of You

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Remember the 2009 iPhone commercial with the famous line: “There’s an app for that!”?  In my never-ending quest for better ways to take care of myself, I’ve discovered that there truly is an app for everything. Gratitude apps, meditation apps, daily prayer apps, journaling apps, yoga apps, mindfulness apps. Honestly it feels kind of exhausting keeping up with all of this! I wonder if the pursuit of self-care can have a sneaky side effect of increased pressure and stress. Our determination to fit in all of these “10-minute” things to make us feel nurtured and cared for can actually have the opposite effect!  

My question is: Why do we feel we need to go it alone? Why do we make ourselves solely responsible for our own care? The wonderful reality of our faith is that we are never alone! We worship a loving God who created us for the sole purpose of loving us. God desires—and is mighty enough—to carry our burdens and help us find rest.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28

When I try to think of a human experience that most closely resembles this feeling, I think back to my beloved grandmother and how she made the best soft-boiled eggs. There was nothing that made me feel more cared for than sitting at the kitchen counter, chatting with my grandmother while she made me soft-boiled eggs on toast. Even after I learned how to make my own…I rarely did. That was our special ritual. Something she did for me because she knew how much I enjoyed it. They never tasted quite the same when I tried to make them myself.

When you feel wrung out dry or stretched too thin, come to the “kitchen counter” and let yourself be cared for. Lean into the Lord. Let your loving Creator nurture you while you do nothing but simply sit and feel loved. It’s not a task like writing in a journal or making a gratitude list. It’s a feeling. An experience of being held.

This need so many of us have to constantly seek out new types of self care reminds me of the Scripture: Seek the Lord while he may be found. (Isaiah 55:6) There is absolutely a time and a place for this kind of spiritual quest, but if I’m being honest, there are times when I’m simply too weary to do any seeking. When I’m feeling this way, I think back to something I heard in a sermon once: Jesus is the Good Shepherd and we are His sheep. It’s not the job of the sheep to go off looking for the shepherd. And so as believers, we have one simple job…to be found.

God knows us intimately and loves us unconditionally, and we don’t have to do any work for that to happen. Now if you’re like me, I’m sure you’re saying: “OK, sounds good!  I would love to let God take care of me. So how do I do that?  What are the steps I need to take? Is there an app for that?”

I encourage you to resist thinking about this as something you need to do. The closest I can come to an app for you is Psalm 46:10 – Be still and know that I am God. Find some time to be still and just meet God in the present moment with no agenda, no “to do” list, and no goals of what you hope to accomplish. Just be. The present moment is where we see the face of God, and all we have to do is open our eyes and look—and let God look back at us. This moment of loving connection with our Divine Creator will leave us feeling refreshed, restored, and cared for more than any app could ever do.

Photo by Neil Soni on Unsplash

Roadblocks to the Spirit

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Decorative image; road closed sign

Last year, during a particularly bad New England storm, my nephew was trying to get home to visit his parents. The main road in his neighborhood was blocked by a downed wire. He turned around and tried another route, only to find that road was blocked by a tree that had fallen across it. Roadblock after roadblock…it took him almost an hour of circling around town before he could find a way to get home.

Does your spiritual life ever feel like this? Like there’s some obstacle blocking you from getting home to God? This can be a frustrating and lonely experience, but it’s important to remember that these roadblocks are never put there by God! God wants to be in relationship with us. We put up our own barriers, or we let the outside world do it for us.

I have found that there are three types of roadblocks that typically get in the way of a rich and loving relationship with our Creator.

DISTRACTION
Our lives are full of distractions. We’re constantly pulled in so many different directions. I’ve worked in retreat ministry for many years, and the most common reason women resist going away for a retreat is a lack of time. It’s so easy to let other things fill up our lives and crowd out our spiritual growth.

The obstacle of distraction requires us to examine our outer lives. Perhaps it’s time to reevaluate some of our priorities. Making room for God in our lives will give the Holy Spirit plenty of space to dwell in our hearts. Try to take one thing off your plate that isn’t truly serving you or filling you up on your journey of faith.

DOUBT
There are a lot of names for this roadblock. Doubt. Fear. Anxiety. All of these feelings are rooted in a lack of trust. God’s plans don’t always line up with our own plans, and this can leave us feeling shaken and lost. But despite our own doubts, we can be absolutely certain of God’s faithfulness. This belief provides us tremendous comfort as we move through life. The Lord will never abandon us!

The obstacle of doubt requires us to examine our own need to be “in charge.” To surrender to God’s plans and follow where that call may lead. To trust that God is working in our lives. This can be quite challenging for people used to being in control of our lives – but we can overcome that challenge if we believe that God is in control.

GUILT
All too often, I see people holding themselves back from our loving Creator due to a feeling of unworthiness, shame, or guilt. This roadblock is the most heartbreaking, because it’s the most self-inflicted, and it could not be further from the truth. We were created to be loved by God! There’s nothing we can ever do that will separate us from the love of God. As much as we measure our own worth, God doesn’t measure us. Like the prodigal father, God loves us and accepts us exactly the way that we are.

The obstacle of guilt requires us to spend some time really feeling God’s unconditional love and letting it transform us. This can be done by taking a long, loving look at ourselves through the eyes of our Creator. By reflecting on the wonder of our own creation and the unshakeable knowledge that we are God’s beloved.

During this season of Lent, I encourage you to examine anything that might be getting in the way of your relationship with God. See if you can name it. Remind yourself that these roadblocks can be removed through prayer, reflection, and some small changes to your thoughts and actions.

As you grow closer to God over the next 40 days, I offer you this Lenten prayer:

Loving God,
Examine my heart
and help me uncover anything that pulls me away from you.
What obstacles am I stuck behind, hiding behind, or clinging to?
Search my heart.
Help me remove distractions, doubts, and feelings of unworthiness
So that I might live in your love,
follow your call, and grow ever closer to you.
Amen.

Image by Al Seeger from Pixabay

Survival Kits and Treasure Chests

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Two years ago this month, I was busy making survival kits. My twin boys were in their sophomore year of college, and news of the Covid-19 virus was everywhere. It had fully arrived in the Northeast and cases were spreading like wildfire in nursing homes, hospitals, and other community settings. No one knew what would happen. (In early March of that year I never could have dreamed that most colleges would close their doors and send everyone home!) All I knew was that my boys were away at school and at risk of catching a dangerous virus. And so I put together boxes of everything they might need—if they got sick, if they were locked down in their dorm rooms, or if they were quarantined somewhere else on campus. I was determined that they would be ready to face any possible scenario. Cold medicine, digital thermometers, cough drops, snacks, and bottled water. I wanted them to be prepared for anything. It made me feel like I had control of a situation that was huge and scary and unprecedented. I truly believed that my proactive measures were the only thing that could hold back my panic.

Two years later, with many ups and downs throughout this pandemic, I still think about those survival kits. They essentially went unused.  My boys were lucky enough not to get Covid, and they never faced any kind of dorm lockdowns or quarantines. While it’s true that any of those things could have happened (and in fact did happen to many students), it made me stop and think: how much of my time do I spend “running the scenarios”—preparing for every possible negative outcome—when oftentimes, the worst case scenario never happens? 

How much time do you spend living in the future, in the land of “What if?” or “Just in case?” Always trying to figure out what’s coming next. Spending your time and energy trying to be prepared for it. We do this because we don’t want to be caught off guard. Sometimes this approach to life makes sense. When we know a hurricane is bearing down on us, we prepare for it by stocking up on groceries, batteries, and bottled water. But constantly living in this survival mode—even for the smaller, less perilous situations—begins to reveal a lack of trust. A need to control one’s environment is almost always linked with fear. Not just fear that bad things will happen, but fear that if they do, we won’t be able to handle it.

During this Lenten season, can we experiment with letting go of this “survival” attitude? What would it feel like to just live in the now? To experience what’s happening without analyzing the moment, trying to predict what will come next? This letting go may feel scary at first. It requires a level of trust that seems difficult. The ability to let go doesn’t come easy and takes practice. But it will quickly become incredibly freeing. 

Imagine leaning into God. Letting go and trusting that whatever comes, you will not be alone. You don’t need to go through life filling a metaphorical survival kit. Empty it out, and let it be filled with confidence. Confidence that God will provide what you need… in this moment… in every moment.  No matter how fierce the storm is, God will be there with you. You can relax and experience the present moment with a sense of peace.

My boys eventually admitted to me that when I dropped off their survival kits, the first thing they did was immediately eat all the snacks. What a funny and wonderful example of living in the now! 

I encourage you to follow this example, putting away your survival kit and replacing it with a treasure chest. Whereas a survival kit is filled with things you need to control all the bad things that may (or may not!) happen in your life, a treasure chest is full of life, hope, and possibility. It helps you do so much more than survive. It allows you to thrive!  This Lenten season, I invite you to accept the treasure chest that God has filled for you.  Discover the treasures inside: love, acts of kindness, gratitude, present moment awareness, hope, faith, and trust. Carry that treasure with you always.

Meeting Jesus Somewhere Along the Way

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I’ve been thinking about how often I use the word “perfect.” When I experience a day where everything goes just exactly right, I describe it as a “perfect” day. If I’m throwing a dinner party (remember when we used to do that?) every last detail has to be “perfect.” If I’m writing a blog post or a spiritual reflection, I have to find the “perfect” way to get my message across. In each of these examples, I’m placing incredibly high expectations on whatever I’m doing or experiencing. My standards are impossibly high, and if anything goes wrong, it tarnishes the entire thing.

I wonder if this type of thinking is more harmful than good. The human condition is that we are not perfect. In fact, we were never meant to achieve perfection. It’s our flaws and our brokenness that make us children of God. 

God loves us… 

in spite of… 
because of… 
regardless of… 

our brokenness.

More than that, our brokenness is actually critical to a deepening relationship with God. We need our cracks and broken places. As it’s so beautifully stated by playwright Heather McDonald: 

“It is said that grace enters the soul through a wound.”

What if we stopped looking at our cracks and imperfections as barriers to God, but instead saw them as openings through which God’s love and grace might enter our souls? In other words, just because we’re not totally perfect, it doesn’t mean we’re totally worthless. This “all or nothing” thinking gets us nowhere and leaves us stuck. If I can’t achieve perfection, then why not just give up? Why bother?  

I work at a university, and a professor once told me a story of a bright and talented student who was three weeks late turning in a paper. When he asked her to explain the delay, she revealed a deep fear that the paper wasn’t perfect. She was frozen. She couldn’t bring herself to turn in her paper knowing it had flaws.

Although we routinely use this gauge of perfection to judge ourselves and others, that’s not how God sees us! God wants us to know that this “all or nothing” thinking is not constructive. It doesn’t move us toward wholeness. It doesn’t aid our spiritual growth. We do not need to be perfect. In the words of St. Augustine:

“This is the very perfection of a man, to find out his own imperfections.”

God’s love has never been dependent on our being perfect. When Jesus lived on earth, he spent his time with the poor, the meek, the sick, and the sinful. None of these could claim to be perfect. Yet Jesus loved them. Just as Jesus loves us. Not because we’re perfect…but because we belong to God. We only need to look at the saints to see the truth in this. They were not perfect either, in fact some of them were deeply flawed. But what sets them apart is that they gave their flaws over to God. They came to God with open wounds…willing to let God’s grace enter.

Our journey of faith is not one that has a finish line. It’s not something we “win” or come in first place. We don’t need to arrive at this mythical place of perfection…in fact we cannot. We remain in the middle of the road or the “somewhere along the way” point. 

  • What does this “middle of the road” look like to you? 
  • Picture meeting Jesus “somewhere along the way.” What might Jesus be saying to you as you continue on this journey together?

During this Lenten season, I pray that you will know and believe that God loves and accepts you exactly as you are! It doesn’t mean God doesn’t want you to strive towards “better.” But you can do this knowing you’ll never reach “best.” And that’s “perfectly” ok!

Let God Lead the Way Through Lent

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Do you have an exact date that you consider the “beginning” of the pandemic? For me it was March 15, 2020. That was the day I went to pick up my son at college after he was given 24 hours to pack up his things and leave school for the rest of the semester. My other son was home on spring break and told not to come back. Later that same day, I drove to my office, picked up my computer and files, and set up a home office, where I’ve been working ever since. In 27 days it will be exactly one year since life changed in so many drastic and challenging ways. 

Joy, connection, and hope would be replaced by fear, isolation, and monotony. Day after day, wondering…When would this end? Would all of my loved ones survive? Would I keep my job? When would we get our lives back? And I’m well aware that I’m one of the lucky ones! My family has remained healthy and safe. I still have my job. My boys were able to return to college for a few months in the fall. But still, the impact of the pandemic has been significant. It has changed me in ways I’m only just beginning to discover. I suspect that has happened to all of us.

With this constant feeling of weariness in my bones, I must admit that Ash Wednesday snuck up on me. It’s Lent already?!? I usually go ALL OUT for Lent—creating a schedule of activities I want to do, a list of books to read, a series of daily devotions to pray. I fill the season with so many ways to grow closer to God, to renew my faith, and to challenge myself.

In the past I’ve described Lent as a “sacred struggle”—an opportunity to embrace that which is difficult. To dig deep. To face temptations. To examine our personal failings. To work through barriers and blocks to our faith. But this Lenten season is different, and I don’t think that approach fits our current circumstances. Just getting through a typical day feels like a stretch for so many people. Keeping up with the basic functions of life is all many of us can manage, let alone a list of challenging faith-building activities that only ask (even demand) more of us. For some of us, it’s simply not possible at the moment to stretch ourselves in our faith. With our daily lives filled with so much struggle, our faith should be the one thing that comes easy.

So how can we approach Lent in a season that finds us tired, struggling, and worn out? 

Give yourself permission to put away your lists and schedules if you simply can’t manage them right now. Open your heart and simply let God in. As bleak as life might seem at the moment—in these dark and cold days of winter—God is still here! Choose one gentle and simple thing you can do to become aware of God’s presence in your life over the next 40 days. Don’t stretch yourself beyond that one thing for now. Just open the door of your heart a tiny crack, and God will enter. You’ll feel the light and warmth of Divine Love slowly seeping in. Let it happen in it’s own time. Don’t worry about forcing or prying that door open. Do what you can and let God do the rest.

My friend and I are trying a new thing for Lent this year. Each day we’re going to send each other a song. Thanks to the treasure trove of Christian and spiritual music on YouTube, this feels like a fun and easy thing to do, especially since an ocean separates us at the moment and digital communication is all we have. We’re going to let God’s love flow into that crack in our hearts through the beauty of music. The only thing we’re asking each other to do is listen. That feels exactly right for this season of weariness. I’m looking forward to seeing how this daily musical dose of God’s love affects us over these next 40 days.

Since God’s sense of timing is always impeccable, I received an email this morning from the Catholic chaplain at the university where I work. He spoke of how many of us are hurting, broken, and feeling “dead as dust” after an almost year-long pandemic. And he linked to this beautiful song, which I immediately sent to my friend. Indeed, God makes beautiful things out of the dust!

As you find your way through the Lenten season this year—in whatever way you can manage at the moment—I offer you this simple prayer:

Dear Lord, during this holy season of Lent
Help me to cast off despair, doubt, boredom, and frustration.
Help me to open my heart to feel your love in all places and spaces.
May I be filled with your love as I discover your promises during these 40 days.
May I return to you again and again when I drift away.
Gently pull me, lead me, and hold me through this season of hope.

AMEN.

Photo Credit: Photo 138620074 © Iwom22 | Dreamstime.com