Stillness

Practicing Stillness

/ sheridursin / 1 Comment

“Be still and know that I am God”
Psalm 46:10

I love writing about stillness. On the surface it seems like a very simple practice, but in reality it can be difficult to achieve. Our world doesn’t make it easy to be still! Yet I believe it’s a critically worthwhile endeavor…for being still in the present moment is the best way to experience God.  

In a busy world and a sometimes chaotic society, roadblocks to stillness often come from the outside world. But just as often, they can come from within—through our own thoughts and habits. In my experience there are three ways that we tend to leave the present moment in our lives.

Focusing on doing instead of being

How often do you find yourself doing one thing, but your mind is spinning with other things you know you need to do? You might be eating lunch at your desk, but you’re not thinking about what your sandwich tastes like, instead you’re thinking about what you’re going to say at that meeting after lunch or the errands you need to run when you get home from work. Multitasking isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and sometimes it’s what we need to do. (If I’m being totally honest, I’m eating my lunch as I write this post!) But it’s important to realize that when we do this, we are taken out of the present moment.

Focusing on our worries about the future

When something is making you feel anxious, how much time do you spend running the scenarios? Thinking about everything that can go wrong and coming up with a plan for every possible outcome. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. This is incredibly common, and I know very few people who can resist doing this. It’s important to be aware of how often our minds dwell in the future and to recognize that when they do, we’re not here in the present.

Focusing on regrets of the past. 

It’s so easy to focus on things that we missed, things that we couldn’t do or lost out on. How much time do you spend thinking back on things that have already happened that you can’t do anything about? In this case I’m not talking about pleasant memories of the past, but rather regrets. Lost opportunities, harsh words, uncomfortable interactions. There are lots of ways to become lost in regret and every time we do, again, we aren’t really here.

All of these things have the same result of taking us out of the present moment. It’s the fastest way to get pulled off that path on our journey to spiritual wholeness. When we leave the present moment, we lose sight of God. We lose our sense of purpose. And we’re less able to focus on what’s really important.

In her book Mystical Hope, Cynthia Bourgeault writes: “The spiritual life can only be lived in the present moment, in the now. All the great religious traditions insist upon this simple but difficult truth. When we go rushing ahead into the future or shrinking back into the past, we miss the hand of God, which can only touch us in the now.”

The key to practicing stillness is to stay here with God in the present moment. Think of your mind as a busy airport. Your thoughts are like planes constantly taking off and landing. Backing up at the gates or circling the airspace waiting to land. Or maybe they’re like the crowded terminals jam-packed with worries and distractions. You need to take time on a regular basis to let those planes land. To empty out the terminals. To be still. When you let your mind settle, all past and future thoughts fade away, and you make room for God in the here and now.

May you find some time this week to experience stillness, where you can encounter the hand of God touching your life. Amen! 

A Retreat Prayer

/ sheridursin / 2 Comments

Dear Lord, as I enter into this sacred time,
may I feel surrounded by Your loving presence.
In the quiet stillness may I hear You speak to me.
In Your loving embrace, may I be restored.

Release me from all that pulls me away from You;
My doubts, my fears, and my need to control;
Noise, distraction, interruptions, and chaos;
The need to be constantly “doing” instead of “being”

Fill me with all that draws me closer to You;
Stillness, prayer, time to reflect;
Connection with my companions on the journey;
The simple wonder of knowing that You are here

Speak to me in the hushed quiet of prayer.
Open my heart to your stirrings in my life,
That I may let go of all that holds me back
From the life you are calling me to

As I move out of this time of retreat
Help me to carry this peace with me on the journey.
May I be reminded at all times of
Your presence, Your love, and Your goodness.

AMEN.

Background photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

The Watering Can

/ sheridursin / 1 Comment

Watering can

Since the COVID-19 outbreak first came to the United States months ago, how much time have you spent caring for others? Raise your hand if you’re doing (or have done) any of the following:

  • Working through the shutdown as an essential healthcare, transportation, grocery, or sanitation worker
  • Buying groceries for an elderly parent, relative, or neighbor
  • Running errands for someone who is under quarantine
  • Helping your children navigate online learning when schools were shut down this spring
  • Putting in long hours figuring out how to provide online learning to your students
  • Cooking meals around the clock for a house full of family stuck at home
  • Volunteering for local social services such as food banks, shelters, etc.
  • Showing up to march in protest for the equal rights of your black brothers and sisters
  • Sewing masks or collecting PPE to support your local hospitals or nursing homes
  • Providing connection and care to those who are lonely and isolated in quarantine
  • Talking to friends, children, or siblings who are scared and anxious and trying to help them work through their fears

Let me take a moment to tell you that you are wonderful! You are doing God’s work in caring for others during a time of crisis, and your work is appreciated. Today I would like you to reflect on this important question: How much of yourself are you giving away? Is this constant taking care of others taking its toll on your spirit? You can’t become so busy caring for others that your spiritual life suffers. Your relationship with God is the foundation that supports everything else. You can’t be the best YOU without it!

Think of yourself as a watering can. Every time you care for someone, you pour out a little bit of water to nurture them. What happens when the watering can is empty? What are you doing to refill it? Are you taking time to rest? Are you taking time to sit in the stillness and feel the presence of God all around you? Are you praying, meditating, taking long walks in nature, playing your favorite spiritual music, or finding other ways to connect with God?

Re-filling your watering can has to be a commitment. You can’t wait around for the time to present itself. With the state the world is in right now, it might not happen anytime soon. The work of caring for others never ends. There’s always one more thing you can do. Let it be a gift you give to yourself—making the conscious decision to stop and fill up your watering can in whatever way works best for you.

The good news is, you don’t have to do this alone. I’m sure you have someone in your life —a friend or family member—that you can always count on to lift your spirits. No matter how hard your day is, how tired or stressed you are, when you’re with that person, they make you feel good. That’s what God can and should be for you when your watering can is empty. Allow yourself to rest in God. To be refreshed by the peace and joy that can only come from God.

Then you will be ready to be poured out once again.

Encountering God Within

/ sheridursin / 2 Comments

silhouette prayer

With churches closing all over the world due to the spread of COVID-19, many of us are being kept away from our parishes, our beloved retreat centers, or other places of prayer. It’s easy to feel closed off from God during this time. 

If we can’t get in…how can we encounter God?

We are used to seeking God outside of ourselves, but now we must find God in our own hearts. This time of social distancing requires us – even encourages us – to look deep within, for the Holy One dwelling inside of us. Distractions of the outside world are greatly reduced as we embrace stillness and quiet. We take solace in nature. In God’s beauty. In the knowledge that we can rest in God when we feel overwhelmed with worry, sadness, or exhaustion.

Jesus says: “Remain in me and I will remain in you.” (John 15:5).  What does it mean, to have Christ remain in us? It means that Jesus is not someone who exists outside of us. He dwells within us, a constant presence and source of hope. 

In Richard Rohr’s meditation “God is Everywhere” he states: “The pinnacle of prayer is reached when we can trust that we are constantly in the presence of God. We cannot not be in the presence of God!” Our churches may be closed, but we – the children of God – are open to God’s great love. We are open to pray for one another and our world. We are open to God’s gift of grace. Amen!

Please share your thoughts below. How are you keeping your faith life alive during this time of church closings?

A Prayer for the Present Moment

/ sheridursin / 7 Comments

water lily

Loving God, I come to you as I am,
Rushed and frazzled, electricity buzzing from my fingertips,
Or sluggish, plodding through the mud, footsteps heavy and slow.
Whatever my pace, I have arrived at this precise moment with you.

Lord Jesus, I rest in the knowledge that you will meet me here,
At the crossroads of sorrow and joy,
Of confusion and clarity,
Of stress and serenity.

Heavenly Father, help me to pause.
To listen, and pray, and sit in the quiet
With you, my song blending with yours
In beautiful harmony

God of love, I pray for the inspiration to put away my own plans,
And discover what you have in mind for me
I am listening, I am here with you.
I will be present.
I will just BE.

 

 

Photo by Jay Castor on Unsplash

Allegory of Five Gardens (Part Two)

/ sheridursin / 3 Comments

crowded garden

Long ago, in a land far away, there lived five sisters. The Master Gardener, who loved them as his own, gave each sister a gift – a small plot of land to plant a garden. With excitement and hope, they prepared the soil and planted seeds, giving them lots of water and sunshine until they sprouted into healthy plants. As time went on, the five sisters tended to their gardens in their own different ways.

Months later, the Master Gardener invited each sister, one at a time, to come and share with him how her garden fared. The second sister approached with dragging steps and slumped shoulders. Her cheeks were reddened from hours in the sun, and her tired eyes revealed dark smudges underneath.

“How does your garden fare, my child?”

“Too well, I’m afraid to say. I wanted to plant as many things as I could, to thank you and praise you for this wonderful gift. So I have perennials and annuals, creeping plants and climbing plants, vegetables and fruits. The garden is truly bursting with life.”

“Then why do you look so unhappy?” the Master Gardener asked with kind but questioning eyes.

“Now it keeps me so busy I’m exhausted all the time. There’s so much work involved. Weeding, pruning, watering. It never ends. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even enjoy working in my garden anymore.”

“My dear child,” the Master Gardener replied. “I gave you this gift so you could find joy in your work. An overcrowded garden will not thrive and it will only leave you feeling tired and cross. You need balance and simplicity.

The Master Gardener helped her cut out sections of her garden (to pass along to other members of the village) and install a bench, where she could sit and rest in the shade and enjoy the beautiful bounty of her smaller and simpler garden.

A sigh of relief escaped her lips as the second sister delighted in the extra time she had to spend in quiet solitude. She promised never again to take on so much work that she forgot the reason she planted in the first place.

REFLECTION:

Does your faith life resemble the over crowded garden of the second sister? You’re involved in everything. You’re part of every church committee, prayer group, ministry, and Bible study. You can’t say no to anything. Like the sister Martha from Luke’s gospel, you’re overwhelmed with all the work you have to do.

This is a very common situation for many people who are actively involved in ministry and volunteer work. It’s called “church burnout” and we’ve all experienced it from time to time. Our busy schedule of church commitments begins to wear us down. It becomes a chore and even builds resentment. “Why do I have to do everything?!?”

Serving God through church ministries shouldn’t come at the expense of spending time with God.

The church work you do shouldn’t become a block to deepening your relationship with God.

Some points to consider:

Examine your motives. Why do you feel compelled to do so much? Is it an attempt to prove yourself worthy to God? A desire to impress others in the church? An inability to say “no”? There’s no doubt that God wants us to serve others. We see that in the example of his son, Jesus Christ. But we also see moments when Jesus left the crowds to go off by himself, taking time for quiet prayer and solitude. Look for this same kind of balance in your own faith life.

Set realistic boundaries. Once you become identified as the “go to” volunteer for getting things done, you’ll find you get called on for lots more. Be prepared for this and learn to say no if the work is getting to be too much.

Take a break.   “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) God’s grace is not dependent on a numbered list of good deeds we’ve accomplished. You’ll be no less deserving of that grace if you scale back a bit. Remember, God want us to live healthy, balanced lives. The garden of your faith life should reflect that.

So if you’re feeling like this second sister, take some time to sit in your garden and pray. Block out all distractions of fundraisers, committee meetings, and potlucks. Come to God in the silence and rest in His loving embrace. You’ll be glad you did and your faith garden will find new life after a period of rest.

*Read Part One of Allegory of Five Gardens here.

An Introvert’s Guide to Advent

/ sheridursin / 6 Comments

winter branches

My sister and I have a long-standing joke that she’s my “Wake Wingman.”  I’m an introvert and so immersing myself in large crowds has never been my thing. Small talk can be draining for me. I also internalize emotions and wakes are brimming with feelings.  My sister, on the other hand, is a gregarious, extroverted, social being.  She always knows what to say, and large crowds of overflowing emotion bring out the best in her.  So whenever possible, I tag along behind her at wakes.  I mean I literally stand behind her the whole time, glued to her side.  As we work our way through the line, she says something to the neighbor or co-worker and I nod my head in agreement, offering a sympathetic look or a gentle smile if appropriate.  We’ve been doing this for years and it works for us.

My expression of sorrow is no less sincere; it just has a different delivery method.

It got me thinking about the challenge for introverts to live out the message of Jesus.  Jesus was all about relationships.  Love your neighbor, help the poor, gather in communities to pray.  For some, this comes as naturally as breathing.  Serving a meal to a hundred patrons of a soup kitchen would leave an extrovert feeling energized and ready to take on the world.  For me, I would want to crawl under the covers and turn out the lights.  Not because I don’t love my neighbor.  Or I don’t care about helping those in need.  It’s just harder for me.  Being an introvert means that you’re more energized by time spent alone rather than with people.  Social crowds can quickly sap the introvert of energy.  There’s a tendency to seek out quieter, less publicly stimulating environments.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t put your faith into action, particularly at times of the year when we’re reminded of the importance of doing so.  And so I offer you:

AN INTROVERT’S GUIDE TO ADVENT

WRITE.  Introverts need time to think about what they want to say and how they want to say it.  Writing is an ideal outlet for this kind of communication.  Use correspondence to live out Jesus’ Great Commandment.  For the remainder of Advent, send one email or note each day to someone you care about or admire.  Tell them how you feel.  Plan for bigger goals in the New Year.  Start a blog!  Join an online Bible study.

LISTEN.  Introverts are gifted at listening and their calm, gentle demeanor is the perfect balm for someone in distress.  The holiday season can tap into loneliness and sadness for a lot of people. Look for opportunities to lend a listening ear to someone who needs it.  A meaningful one-on-one connection allows you to be Jesus for that person, and to see Jesus in them.

PRAY.  Quiet prayer comes naturally to introverts and what better time of year to embrace the silence and stillness than Advent.  Seek out a moments of quiet solitude as often as you can. “For God alone, my soul waits in silence.” (Psalm 62:1) Try new forms of silent prayer like meditation or adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.  Use this holy season to deepen your relationship with God.

BE CREATIVE.  Many churches and faith communities offer opportunities for community service at this time of year.  If helping others by being in the thick of the action doesn’t work for you, find ways to help behind the scenes.  Instead of mingling at a fundraiser, volunteer to help design the flyer, or stuff envelopes.  Your contribution is no less important because you weren’t “in the spotlight.”

STRETCH.  Don’t let being an introvert become an excuse. It’s a huge temptation for introverts to hide away rather than engage with the world. Look for ways that God is gently challenging you to stretch out in faith.

Whether you’re an introvert, an extrovert, or somewhere in between—my prayer for you this Advent season is that you will seek ways to grow in your relationship with our loving God, as we await the coming of our Savior.  Come, Lord Jesus, come!

A Woman’s Lenten Journey

/ sheridursin / 6 Comments

woman in woods

The season of Lent is a journey.

A journey to the foot of the cross at Calvary…and to the heart of Jesus.

Years of working in retreat ministry has shown me that more than anything, women long for a daily encounter with God. Whatever form that may take, the desire to connect with the Divine is a major driver in a woman’s spiritual journey. A retreat presenter recently urged, “Don’t ever be satisfied with where you are with God at this moment. Always desire something deeper.”

Reaching for that “something deeper” can be a real challenge. Today’s woman is pulled in a million different directions. Always on the go, we are doers and nurturers. This hectic pace can make if very difficult to listen for the voice of God.   Women need TIME! We need quiet. We need a safe, sacred space, free from distraction. We need to stand still long enough to be found.  Only then can we take up our cross once again and resume the journey. Continue reading →

The Language of Silence

/ sheridursin / 8 Comments

snowy silence
16th century mystic John of the Cross once wrote: “Silence is God’s first language.” Now, I’m a firm believer that God comes to us every day in any number of ways, through the bubbling laughter of our children, the joyous harmony of a choir, the hustle and bustle of a busy day, even the anguished cries of a broken heart.

But there’s something special about silence. Continue reading →

When God is Silent

/ sheridursin / Leave a comment

winter-benchWe know that God whispers…the whisper of a baby born in a stable on a quiet December night…the whisper of a resurrected Lord appearing to a couple of women and a small group of disciples. And we know that our God is a God of surprises, speaking to us when we least expect it. Elijah listened in all the mighty places for the voice of God, never imagining it would come as a gentle whisper. And it’s been my experience that if we’re faithful to our time spent in sacred silence—through prayer, meditation, or anything that helps us shut out the noisy world—we’ll start to be surprised by God, too.  Continue reading →